I'm at a crossroads once again. Time, as always, is determined to move on far faster than I am. I grow comfortable wherever I am, or perhaps more accurately, too scared to move on. My personality has probably been stagnant ever since some time in highschool. I'm an adolescent at heart and it's not a compliment. My outlook, actions, my outward personality is the result of an unstable balance between a clusterfuck of compulsions and attitudes. My inner voice is as chaotic and unpredictable as anything natural left to its own devices, that is, its determined by whichever dispositions are naturally inclined to win in a heartless struggle akin to the biologically motivated one of survival. I vacilate between wanting to give in to my natural tendency to fall into a pattern of laziness and a far weaker urge to become "something more" and escape the constrained life I currently lead. Constrained by myself, by parents, by societal expectations. At heart I'd like to extend a big FUCK YOU to all those things, in reality I'm a far weaker person than I want to be.